How to be Austrian!

Unlike many Americans, and other people, might think, Austria doesn’t belong to Germany. Therefore, Austrians are very different from Germans in general, they’re very special. Furthermore, even though Austria only has around eight million inhabitants, some regions differ greatly from others.

Concerning language, there are a lot of differences. It is possible that one Austrian might not understand another, especially if one is from the East and the other from the West. In the West, people speak so-called “Swiss-German” which Germans wouldn’t understand at all and somebody from the East of Austria might not understand

Of course, not all Austrians are the same. I’m not trying to offend anyone with the following statements, I’m only talking about stereotypes.

First of all, you must eat meat, and I mean a lot of meat. “Schnitzel” is the (stereo-)typical Austrian dish and a lot of other dishes include a lot of meat too. Out of all of the animals, Austrians like pig the most.

Although I always figured that Austrians smoke a lot, I’ve just recently learned that 47% of the Austrian population smokes on a regular basis. This makes Austria number one, in a competition where no one wants to be number one.

This perfectly leads me to the next requirement for becoming a typical Austrian. They’re pretty moody and they’re never content nor satisfied. For example, talking about sports, an Austrian would hardly ever praise an Austrian sportsman or team (except for skiers).  Actually, exactly the opposite is the case, they’d more likely make fun of themselves and their nation, as a whole.

Sticking with the topic of sports, even though Austria’s Sportsman of the Year has lately been a football players, Austrians love to go skiing. Hence, there are a lot of ski resorts.

I want to stress, once more, that I’ve only mentioned the most important stereotypes that are supported by facts and that, of course, not all Austrians are the same.

Felix Thurner

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