For some reason you clicked on this blog entry, on this text: either you were the one who used to bully, or you were the bullied one. Don’t lie. You know that this is true. In some way, you have experienced this unnecessary pain.
In this blog I decided to talk about feelings, but not about other topics which interest you for a moment and later- just fade. I chose to talk about the human himself: his pain and his peace which is always ruined…somehow.
Let’s imagine that you are an ocean. Funny, right… oceans are big, aren’t they? One day, somebody appears out of the blue, someone you have never met before, somebody who throws a stone at you. Yet it doesn’t make sense, does it? The person out there tries to hurt you, maybe for a reason, maybe not, but it is a fact that he tries. He saw that the stone ruins the harmony for a moment, but soon after that, the surface of the water is smooth again and the stone is gone. That’s why, the person tries again and again, hoping he can change something, but he doesn’t. Meanwhile, every stone falls. Gravity. But this is not the important part. The thing is that each stone, even the smallest one, represents the “attack” of the person who bullies. And all stones disappear in the eyes of those who don’t know what is going on in your mind. But are the little sharp rocks really gone? You cannot see them because of the darkness, but you know that they are there. Somewhere deep inside, they are hidden well.
This small description of what bullying does is not enough to show the whole truth. The reality that many of us hide, the unspoken words which are trapped inside of us, too scared to get out of the darkness…everything is hidden, because we are too scared to show our feelings to somebody who can do the same thing again- to hurt us.
You may think that this blog is a little bit too dramatic, but this is how life is- complicated.
It is hard to talk about your feelings and your thoughts on bullying especially if you are the one who was or still is being bullied. Now, you may ask yourself why am I even writing this text when I am so “scared” and “afraid” of talking about feelings, why am I wasting words and time. The answer is that I want to help, because I didn’t get enough support. I don’t want to teach you how to be a “human”, because you are the one who can do this yourself. I want to show you what happens inside a bullied person’s mind and maybe, one day, you will think first and act later.
I don’t like talking about my problems, especially on social media. Even though bullying was my past, the left scar is still inside of me. Although, the pain faded, the memory of it has never gone out of my head. From the moment ‘evil’ comes into your life, you can never get rid of it. It just sticks with you. You may pretend that it is gone, but is it really? This is what many people who bully don’t understand- they can ruin someone’s life forever.
I did a little research in my school and I made a questionnaire. I asked some students about bullying and what they think about it. I asked them whether they have ever bullied somebody, or if they have ever been the bullied ones. And you may never believe my words, but it is true: There are more people who bully than people who are victims of bullying. How could that be possible? Are you interested enough already or did you know the answer even before the question was asked? Nowadays, everything is based on aggression and something less important – respect. I am asking myself why this is happening and why people continue bullying even though they know how harmful their acts are. Luckily, I had the chance to ask some teenagers what they think about this. The answers were all similar to each other: “The people who bully are not confident and this is why they bully- to gain respect and power from those who are not brave enough to shut the bullies up.” or “The people who bully do this because they want attention from the others because at home they are not given enough of it.” or “They bully because they want to fix themselves, they want to feel better.” But does this make any sense? For some of you, the readers- yes, but for the part of you, the people who have been affected in some way- no. The people who have experienced bullying in some way cannot explain why this is happening to them, why they deserve to be disrespected.
An aspect that really touched me was that many of the students I asked about bullying did not take the research seriously. This was shocking, but somehow understandable. At first, I did not take this seriously either, until the day I was finally alone, and I started reading through the answers the students gave me. It is sad that we, the people, sometimes forget that we need to be human and start thinking about each one of us as a person who deserves respect and happiness. It is hard for some people to understand or shall I say- realize how important this is. It may sound funny to you now, but this can mean the world to someone. That’s why many people put an end of their lives- they commit suicide, because of the emptiness, feeling like they are being the most hated and not loved, not respected creatures possibly ever alive. It is sad because most of the suicides are committed by teenagers, by young people who are mentally not stable and physically alone, by people who never had the chance to see the other face of humanity- the good one.
Many of you may say that there are a lot more important topics taking over minds of people all around the world. But as I said earlier, I know, I am sure that there are some of you who need help and support. And remember one thing, feel free to share. It does not matter who are you talking with, even with a teacher (if you feel scared of sharing with anybody else) – it can be really helpful. One more advice, don’t take everything so seriously, don’t let anybody make you feel down and miserable, because YOU are worth it.
Never let bullying be important in any way in YOUR life, because you run your own life. There are other things we have to worry about, things that can be helped, and people who can be given help. We can change anybody’s life to something better. And this is the point: spread love, not hate.
Stay tuned and soon you can find other blog entries with the same topic – bullying. I appreciate the time you spent reading this blog entry. I would love to read what you think about this text in the comments bellow.